Day 10- "Pleasure"

The part about being a mom that comes with the job- making dinner, driving to school, picking up from practice...I am so grateful to be able to get to do a lot of that for my son, and he thanks me multiple times daily.  He tells me I don't have to make him dinner or he's sorry I have to drive him. He has no idea it is my pleasure, and in two and a half years it will be over as part of my daily life. He is one of my pleasures!

Day 6- "Blue"

He never fails to make me proud! 

"Languid"- Day 9

Languid...that is my son every day after practice; he has to work as hard as he can to build strength and show his coaches what he can do. He feels he has to work twice as hard to be seen, and yet will acknowledge to me he is rarely seen.  We see it at home how much stronger he is in a year. Then, he comes home and tackles homework- sometimes gets straight A's on top of it all. He has learned to manage his time and prioritize so he he is successful (but of course he makes xBox time too...he is 16 after all). To top it off, he rarely complains. He has no idea that the qualities he has developed as a result of no play time and 100% dedication will last a lifetime and take him so far someday.

"Shiver"- Day 6

Another night of shivering at a football game as fall just gets colder; my son tries hard and is so dedicated but rarely gets in for even a play, spends hours at practice and hours on the sideline. You will always know which one he is- he is cheering the loudest and is the one walking up and down the sideline patting teammates on the back and cheering them on. He never gives up hope, and never gives less than 100% at practices. My admiration for him is huge; I have parents tell me all of the time their kids wouldn't do that, would have quit. Yes, of course he wants to play, badly in fact, but he knows he doesn't have the experience. He wants the chance but knows in the middle of close game it isn't the time, and doesn't want to do that to his team. He would do anything for his team...he radiates the meaning of team sport. People also say it is a lot of time shivering and giving up to watch your child do nothing since he doesn't play; my son has come to show me that actually I am watching the kid who does everything, it just isn't something that most people even see.

"Nostalgia"- Month 10, Day 1

I will forever treasure the heart shaped rock my son put in the prettiest box he could find when he was about 3 or 4 years old, it is without a  doubt one of my most prized possessions and is indicative of the sweet soul that he is, even at age 16.

"Rhyme"- Day 8

Most people don't know it...and it happened sort of by accident...but we ended up Aaron and Sharon and I love this boy to death, best kid a mom could ask for!

Day 26- "Cleanse"

Nothing here but a cute anecdote...my 15 year old's bff came over today after workouts because no one could pick him up. The two of them spent the day playing xbox and watching the World Cup USA game.  When he left I looked at the couch and said, "What is that?" It was a rust colored thing, I thought he must have left clothing. My son said, "Oh, that is his towel.  He took a shower after workouts. I gave him a new bar of soap so he wouldn't have to use soap any of us had used." That kid is about the sweetest one I know...especially when he said we could finish the soap because he knew it wouldn't bother us...

"Dappled Light"- Day 10

One of my son's photos from the photography class he took, he didn't want to take the class but had to take an arts class. I told him this would be the best for him out of the choices, just knowing how he is.  In the beginning it was like pulling teeth to get him to have an ounce of creativity and put in the effort.  By the end he loved the class, finished projects ahead of time, and actually enjoyed researching a photographer, he picked a war photographer. This was the first ones he looked at and was really excited about, they were working on darkness with lights in different places.  Now he willingly grabs my camera that was a bit imposing before and he knows just what to do, so there was some confidence building too!  

"A Hand to Hold"

Love my boy...& proud of him in so many ways- I will hold his hand thru anything & I know he would do the same for me.

"Makes You Smile"- Day 28

I'm definitely the kind of girl who laughs at a funeral...can't understand?  Well you soon will...I don't mean to laugh at the wrong times.  Or at the inappropriate.  & I wish so often I could say what I am thinking out loud...like these...

And, I love the crocs...they have always cracked me up and my son was too young to be looking at the book I had but he got the humor, which was so funny, so we used to read one or two together before bedtime and just laugh at the crocs and their antics.

"5 p.m."- Day 13 - March

5 p.m. and I am back where I belong- in his arms...so happy he came home today!  5:46 and I am back out and about to fetch a child...but happy to see him too!  So tired, major insomnia from last night's wind and him being gone and the kids being at their dad's; I am almost never home completely alone.  Looking forward to early bedtime just to crawl into bed and read and lay on him.  Wish I was feeling more creative today...but this is the best I can do...even did the lazy way out of dinner and got pizza, just mentally drained from a week of testing round the clock, so many other things to get done at work, and helping a friend through one of the toughest times of her life while balancing things here because he is living the toughest thing of his life every day.  I really am one of the lucky ones.

Day 8- "Awakening(s)"

My son took this photo last week; he is in Photography 1 as his "fine art."  Not necessarily by choice but the best of his options.  It is interesting because he knows nothing about it and is having to put in more effort than he does in his Physics with Algebra class!  I am using the opportunity to work with him and have some 1:1 and learn more about my camera, and I am experiencing a double awakening here...1- He just doesn't see it creatively.  He is very literal. 2- He is having to learn how to respond to a challenge; it is a good thing for him, and I have to walk that fine line between doing too much, coaching, and letting him figure it out.  The good thing is with each success he realized mom knows something and once he sees it he succeeds.  Last week was "motion"; this week is "lines."  I am simultaneously working to challenge him to not settle for minimum requirements.  Just because you only need 8 in each category, you cannot take just 8, you should take 28 and have options to work with and improve.  We have 4 months more to learn together!

Currently Reading...on Day 27....

...my saved VRBO searches and airfares!  Got word today from the ALL specialist that we should go forth with our summer family vacation, no restrictions on flying!  That is a huge YAY for our family; as a blended family we have had our share of challenges, and one of the biggest was getting this particular child to be allowed to be integrated into our family, as his mother was against it and fought it regardless of legality.  "He" took the high road, which was so hard and so admirable, but it paid off; when his son turned 18 he started spending all sorts of time with us on his terms, including going on two vacations.  Then, we found out about the leukemia, which prevented his joining us last summer and limited where we went.  We weren't sure how it would work out for us this summer, and are so excited to start planning and so hopeful that his health will keep strong and this will be a great time as a family!

"Talisman"- Day 16

When my son was young, maybe 3 or 4, he gave me this gift; it was a rock- a heart shaped rock he had found, and he found the box, and he picked the gold shiny pretty box, even put a sticker on it.  I will never forget the look of pride on his face that day.  I will keep it forever.  Peace xo.