"Goodnight"~ Day 29

For me it is never "goodnight" until I know they are home.  Sometimes I doze off and then wake up, so a rule is either tap my door or text that you are home so that when I awaken I know you are there.  Then I just hope there are never good nights for them...sneaking out because they know I will never know as long as they are quiet...and I can only hope they use their good sense and rules and what they have learned over the years about drugs, drinking, and driving with either.  Losing one of them is my biggest fear in life, and because it happened to someone I know when I was 19 and she was 16, the fear is far too real and people have no idea...to this day I admire her parents as they have stayed together and gone through life after that horrible night, I remember so many parts of that week in such detail.  Sometimes I feel bad that I am overprotective, especially considering how liberal I am, but I have never gotten over that night (I am talking I knew to the day what day my daughter would officially have outlived her life).  I don't know why.  Neither did my therapist lol.  I still say, "good morning" and "goodnight" to the kids every day; I am not sure how that is going to work out with her gone in five months.

This has been on my refrigerator for YEARS (after I had saved it for years) and was required reading for kids when they got their license, though they joke that they have read it 1,000 times because it is by the toaster and they had to wait for toast and would read it...it encompasses my fears and hopes they think, and it is hard when you already see more discipline and willpower in certain ones of your kids than others.  I know that when I say, "goodnight," they have no idea how deeply it affects me, and it has nothing to do with cordiality.  Peace xo.

Day 13- "Connection"

There is nothing like a good 'ol mid-Atlantic snowstorm to connect neighbors and family members...from helping to shovel each other out (even when you may speak but twice a year) to teaching your sons how to shovel (as well as shovel etiquette, if you live where it snows you know what I mean, like considering where you throw your snow, the rules on taking someone's shoveled out parking spot, helping elders/those that you know would have a harder time...).  The more fun are when we are connecting by time together inside, but again, there is a fine line between a little time to connect and bordering on going batshit crazy if they don't do something besides play video games!  The amazing part is how teens can do nothing for hours when they have something they need to do, but are bored when given the time of nothing to do.  Here is today's family connection, brought to you by the overnight/morning snowstorm that hit Maryland: