Day 23 - "Clarity" (and one month until he and I go away and two months until she leaves for college!)

You learn with time and experience...unfortunately few of us are born with it, and sometimes we still struggle with it, but it will be at the heart of it...

"Everyone Should..."- Day 2, Month 6

I know the prompt says "everyone," but if women live like this it will affect everyone in the end. Amazingly I learned so many of these from my parents; I can use a drill and rock some stilettos!

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... by Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will
make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a feeling of control over her destiny…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW….
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming Inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month…and a year…

"Look Up"- Day 20

"Look Up"

This group probably has no idea how I look up to each of them and the challenges they have endured or overcome to land where they are today.  They are my incredible siblings and cousins.  Divorces, special needs children,  teenagers, medical and law schools and the subsequent loans, psychological issues, gay and lesbian acceptance, master's degrees, marriages, miscarriages, layoffs, furloughs, 15 children and four stepchildren, a life ending and changing car accident, the absence of one of us from a tragic death, successful businesses, political activists, caring for aging and ailing parents, waking up and going forward on days when you just don't think you can.  Never settling, always reflecting, always growing.  Looking up to our own parents for advice and models, realizing we need to be that for our own children.

I have to say that Facebook has been great if for no other reason than to see my "NC family," regardless of where they live now, every day.  It lessens the miles and grows the connections and has helped us to get to to know each other as adults.  I look up to each of them for the challenges they have faced, whether by choice or not, and the ways they have grown and endured.  It will be up to us to carry on Grandma's dream...I know we can do it! Peace and love xoxo.

My Most Favorite Poem

I am drawn back to this poem time and time again, and it speaks to me differently every time.  I share it all of the time with other women friends when they are going through things, because I know that it will speak to them too...and it is all things you learn through life...I've seen different titles but I think this one is correct.

Comes The Dawn

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

and company doesn't always mean security

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns

if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

that you really are strong

and you really do have worth

And you learn and you learn

with every goodbye you learn...

1971 by Veronica A. Shoffstall