Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Day 29-"All the Possibilities" & Day 30- "Looking Forward"
All I seem to do is homework for my two classes. Read. Write. Read. Write. Repeat. What keeps me going is the possibility that I could have a shot at the job I want- it would definitely be passion and career colliding. I ask myself how can I go at this pace for six and a half more weeks, but think of who I may get to help and ask myself how can I not?
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Day 27- "Shadow"
Like a shadow the father watched, overwhelmed at the generosity & unsure what to do. Humble enough to accept help from strangers but gracious enough to help as needed and able. Hoping the family moves out of he shadows of despair & into laughter soon.
Day 26- "Warm Glow"
The glow of newly placed lamps upon their first bed, a sofa, & many other donations- great day & hope they sleep in peace tonight. 
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Day 25- "Seek Peace"
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
"Count Your Blessings"- Day 24
Love this girl & hate that she is struggling - mono in boot camp=not fun or easy. At a time she wants mom that's not even an option, as mom passed away five years ago. I would go to the ends of the earh for her & can't wait until not camp is over so I can go see her and give her the hug I know she so badly wants and needs. I'm so grateful that I am a source of security for her; I can't replace her mother, I can just do what she would have done & what I would want done for my own daughter.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Day 23- "Joyful"
It's hard to feel with a child in the hospital. However, an email from a co- worker about a thank you from a parent was the highlight of my day. I could spend all of 2015 ranting & writing about how jacked up some things are for some of our students. What I can do is wish a joyful break to my co-workers who without a doubt work harder & give more by nature of the school we chose to work at, & until you spend a year doing it you will never understand the layers of complexity under and overlying your job to teach all of these children.
"Hello Winter"- Day 20
Key root word here might be hell...what was I thinking when I did two full online grad classes at the same time? This is my winter- reading & when I finish that reading some more & when I finish that watching videos then more reading and writing. The courses are super interesting but APA formatting may be the death of me!
"All Wrapped Up"- Day 21
Christmas is bittersweet for us. My mother is one of nine. In 2000 when my grandmother got cancer she knew it was likely her last Christmas. The one thing she wanted was everyone down in NC for Christmas & for our large family to come together in fellowship as often as possible. She got her wish that Christmas; surrounded by family singing hymns throughout the morning she quietly passed away on Christmas Day. We got down there about two hours later. It was a night with family to be remembered. To my mother- she is the best & I hate that this memory clouds Christmas for her every year, but she goes above & beyond for all just like always.
Day 19- "Shine a Light"
Who doesn't love this peacefulness at Christmas? My only wish is it would fit into the room where we spend the most time, but it doesn't, & it's not my biggest problem - I'm beyond fortunate, even on the tough days. & even if it's a little crooked at the top - too many years of me being too short to put it up correctly most likely- even my tall guy barely could reach (9' didn't look so big in the store, & I wasn't thinking about having 9' ceilings).
Day 18- "Snowglobe"
No one likes when their child is sick, but when they have an infection that leaves the hospitalized for four days minimum- we will know more tomorrow morning- it is scary. Your child is fighting for his life. Human error that doesn't usually happen at this hospital, we are talking in the United States one of the best, has happened twice, one of which caused this. Our first Christmas together as we became a family my mother gave us a set of snowglobe ornaments with each person's name; she has welcomed them all wholeheartedly into our family- that's who she is. I'm hoping that tomorrow morning's blood culture is clear- if not it's another 24 hrs each time it isn't.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
"Quilt"- Day 17
I could think of my family as one- different parts planned but some by happenstance - none by accident. I feel guilty I didn't do enough grad school work this weekend but there's time for that this week. Instead I made soaps & scrubs & cookies with the girls, went driving with my son, wrapped & cleaned & got us "together," watched football with my son & just got to be a mom I realize there aren't many more holiday seasons with my daughter home with me, so I plan to give her all I have when it comes to time together. My family keeps me warmer than any quilt xo.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Day 16 - "Baby it's Cold Outside"
...which is why I will be taking a shower & putting on clean pjs. Lockdown mode to do homework & make cookies, wrap, put away clothes, do some little projects...it's going to be a two day event. No other choice after an exhausting week that bordered on being a comedy of errors! I am grateful for my co-workers who never stop short of "whatever it takes," which often is s sense of humor and goodwill!
Monday, December 15, 2014
Day 15- "Late Afternoon Light"
I'm sticking with the daydream theme on this one- memories of one of our best dinner dates ever that started here...
And ended here...best pizza date ever xo.
"Daydream"- Day 14
I wish...I know I'm lucky I got to go in the first place, but a girl can daydream...
Day 13- "Silver"
Make new friends~But keep the old~One is silver and the other's gold." If you sang along, you get it, if you didn't, I'm sorry...it is a generational thing xo.
"Something Old"- day 12
I feel like I should say "myself"- I'm just trying to do too much but I watch others with fewer resources than I do it every day. So, I'm doing a repeat post, one of my most treasured items, the heart shaped rock in the shiniest gold box my son could find- it's amazing that it still epitomizes who he is today.
"Illuminate"- Day 11
The mini stockings we all looked forward to every year, but I think my grandmother looked forward to giving them out even more! You got your $50 each year and handed them back in, you only got $10 if you were a soon to be in law, until married. They are a prized "ornament" on our tree now that she is gone.
"Should| Shouldn't" - Day 10
This was my quick easy dessert thanks to one of those ice cream freezers where you keep the canister frozen, and when you are ready to use it you toss everything in, plug it in, then wait. I stumbled upon it when cleaning out the freezer after a Costco run. I found a three ingredient recipe- plain Greek yogurt (my "should"), sugar (my "shouldn't"), & vanilla. So good...I will work on decreasing the sugar and adding in frozen fruit the next time I dig it out...no promises.
"Bright"- Day 9
We lucked into the bright shiny Christmas tree in the lobby of our hotel, where I was able to get a few shots of two of our girls all dressed up and ready to head to the symphony!
Day 8- "Apothecary"
...because sometimes fixing yourself is the medicine you need, you don't need to go any further...
Friday, December 12, 2014
Day 7- "Baubles"
So happy that my creative passion got nurtured (& can't wait for classes to be over so I can make more!) & in selling them I donated over $340 to LLS! Look out next year, this was a trial run!
Day 6- "Wish Upon a Star"
I never could have imagined or wished this family...& my wish is we make time for each other always, & carry each other through the hard times & celebrate the good times together.
Day 5- "What Haunts You"
He knows, and he's the only one who needs to, and as long as he's compassionate when I get spooked we will be ok.
"Morning Ritual"- Day 4
If I don't have that peaceful ten minutes with our coffee with him my morning just isn't complete- it is a part of my serenity. & my sanity <3.
Day 3- "Mirror Mirror"
He looks nothing like me...but he is my personality mirror & probably kinder to me than anyone else on this earth. 💛so lucky to have him!
Day 2- "Slant of Light"
Meet Meatball, who is more the size of a meatloaf...cute as long as he stays in his own home and wrapped so he won't mess on me!
Month 12- Day 1- 11 Days Late- "Make a List"
That moment you get the text from Verizon Wireless saying you are over on data for the second time this billing cycle so you pull the stats & the list by line says it all...teenagers...
Day 29- "Annointed"
Is this funny? Yes. Is it fair? I don't think so. The pressure on a 24 year old is unreal, regardless of money. Maybe the recruits should have a three year cap on how much they earn, during their learning period.
Day 28- "Hush"
The challenge of two grad classes at the same time? Tons of reading and writing, all interesting, and "he" wants his BFF & Just. Can't. Hush. So, it's a constant monologue while I try to work. Waiting for the day my response has to do with whatever he's rambling on about. Love him though 💜!
Day 27- "Gather"
I feel so blessed even when we can only gather for a few hours, I wish it weren't so far away!
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Day 23- "I Believe"
She will succeed in the Navy even though I know it has been rough to be gone Thanksgiving week, which councides with the five year anniversary of her mother. ❤️you NW!!!!
Day 22- "Pray"
Some do. Some don't. Don't judge. Seems those most likely to judge tend to be the ones who pray. Makes sense? Not so much.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Day 20- "Forgiveness"
Why do I do it so easily? Because if some people hadn't offered it to me in the past ten years I don't know where I and my children would be today. Try it, especially if it involves forgiving yourself. There are two things I will probably never forgive myself for but I will do everything in my power to make it better and ensure that nothing like it ever happens again, Acceptance and making positive changes is the next best thing. Life is too short...the song "The Heart of the Matter" says it all.
"Joy Springs"- Day 19
Nothing like being able to tell one of your BFFs who is battling cancer that with the help of the team you both work with you hit a new high goal in his honor. I knew he set a lower team goal this year because he was too sick to raise the money himself. Love that we as a team did it together & I know it made his day not only because we did it for him but also because he and I are so personally embedded in this fight , and we both believe in our hearts that you never know which dollar might fund the answer.
"Blanket"- Day 18
Those nights where your world is blanketed with snow and the only thing you have to do is stay in with someone you love, eat a fantastic home cooked comfort meal,just chill together... precious & few!
Sunday, November 16, 2014
"Discretion"- Day 17
I despise that I despise business trips; the lack of sleep on my part before and during doesn't help. All I can do is wake and
"I haven't"`- Day 16
...seen such an articulately and truthfully written article (actually, a blog post turned into an article) in a long time. What was crazy was that the children talked about had no names and faces, but I had them throughout reading the post, and of the crying parents too. People have no idea.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
"Hearth"- Day 15
We happened to make a coffee stop today and it was in this shopping center we had only been to once, about 2 1/2 years ago, and he said, "and we got that picture of all of us taken right there." They are my home no matter where they are. Sometimes the photos are bittersweet, as they are before certain problems/after certain problems and can be classified; this one was
pre-leukemia, about six months before the diagnosis, and one can't help but wonder if it was there. xo
"Trust"- Day 14
...one of the most precious things in the world between two humans in any relationship.
"Eloquence"- Day 13
Have you had the pleasure of listening to any of Kid President's speeches? If not, you should. He is contagious; witty, smart, yet still a kid.
Day 12- "Memory"
My grandmother, mother, aunt, me, and my sister, circa 1974, picking peas at my grandmother's. Precious memories.
Day 10- "Pleasure"
The part about being a mom that comes with the job- making dinner, driving to school, picking up from practice...I am so grateful to be able to get to do a lot of that for my son, and he thanks me multiple times daily. He tells me I don't have to make him dinner or he's sorry I have to drive him. He has no idea it is my pleasure, and in two and a half years it will be over as part of my daily life. He is one of my pleasures!
"The Still House"- Day 9
The old days when they were home; nowadays they can be home but everyone can be consumed with homework, catching up with sleep, technology...very full but often very still.
Day 8- "Eclipse"
I still remember the song that was on after my first breakup, after the MHS varsity football game when I got into the car with my friend Amy...Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." It was a heart wrenching song for me for years...and of course, he is a doctor now!
Thursday, November 6, 2014
"Song"- Day 4
Choose any, he is brilliant beyond words. I can't wait to see him at the symphony in four weeks!
Day 3- "Harmony"
No person, no place, and no thing has any power over us, for 'we' are the only thinkers in our mind. When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives.
9
"Light a Candle"- Day 1, Month 11
We never think that we will be called into action because something affects one of our own, let alone several. Blood cancer has done that for me; the fear of losing a child is real to me every single day but I don't say a word. I'm grateful to those who walked with me & who donated!
"Hidden"- Day 31
Beneath the makeup of an 18 year old celebrating her last Halloween before leaving for the military lies a brave girl who has had to grow up far too quickly & has already experienced ultimate fears. My heart is with her and my door is always open, I just wish I could have done more. I have no doubt she will find success!
Sunday, October 26, 2014
"Blur"- Day 29
Blurring either the forefront or background of photos is a skill I am working on, and was the reason I purchased my last lens. To say I want to upgrade lenses is an understatement, but unfortunately it isn't a priority financially. Until then, I will play and practice and build a portfolio. I would love to take a class, in my spare time :/...until then, it is a lot of trial and error and reading online.
Day 28- "Autumnal Dawn"
Yes, I am going ahead, but trust me, by mid-week I will be behind. I really should call it "Prompt #" vs. "Day #!"
"Prism" - Day 27
I am pretty sure I am one of the few who remembers the Prism "Beat Street" album and still has it in her collection...all for one dramatic 80's ballad that I had almost forgotten about until I saw the prompt today was "Prism..."
Day 26- "Crescendo"
If a crescendo is a gradual increase in intensity, then I can say that many of the trees I got to photograph at Watkins Glen were reaching theirs.
Day 25- "Tomorrow"
The best part of Saturdays in the fall is that I always am looking forward to tomorrow, as it is football Sunday in our house and I love to feed the family, all hang out in the same room, just chill. The downfall is work coming in the next tomorrow, but somehow these Sundays make that less stressful the night before. <3
Day 24- "Undertow"
On this particular date I take this word so differently. Undertow means "an implicit quality, emotion, or influence underlying the superficial aspects of something and leaving a particular impression" according to dictionary.com. October 24, 1987, I lost someone close to our family, and it was the night I grew up immediately. I don't know why it is not only something I never got over, but is also one of two things that can bring me to tears out of nowhere. I feel it and see it so deeply...the people, the weather, the call...knew down to the day when my own daughter had outlived her and was grateful she did; I cannot fathom how her parents not only went on but have endured over the years. 27 years later, feels like last year sometimes. For the longest time I would have dreams that I found her, she was just lost and no one knew it, and I would bring her home. I still would do anything to be able to take away the pain and loss of that night, and wonder what life would have been like for myself, her family, my family and our friends if that night hadn't happened.
"Clear"- Day 23
I will probably use every opportunity to go back to my incredible few hours in Watkins Glen...
Day 22- "Demure"
It doesn't describe anyone in my family, across multiple generations...that is all I can say! Interestingly the one who was most so has become less so since her husband passed, she lives a much more active and outgoing life now. I am glad that today most women don't have to concede to a man and be what they aren't in their marriage, at least not here in the USA. I read about things that go on in other countries is just so backwards.
Day 21- "Otherwordly"
I was happy to see that Watkins Glen State Park made it to a recent list of "Places in America You Need to See Before You Die." I totally agree, words and pictures can't begin to describe the feeling you get, like you are hunting for the crystal skull. At one point if you go on the right path and take a little side path up you all of a sudden come up to an unexpected cemetery, so beautiful. It is one of those that has uniqueness vs. every headstone looking the same. It just enhanced the experience and contributed to the overwhelming otherworldly feeling you get when hiking the gorge.
Day 20- "Twilight"
"The twilight sky turns from bright blue to purple as the sun meets the water in an explosion of hot pink clouds."- Lucia, Lucia by Adriana Trigiani. This is the last I hadn't read of every book she has written, and I am stretching it. By the end of every book I feel like I know the characters, her writing style and ability is envious and becomes more apparent when you follow one of her books with that of another less skilled author. Looking forward to the first movie based on one of her novels, releasing soon!
Saturday, October 18, 2014
"Flawed" Day 18
Why when we are the only one who looks a certain way do we see ourselves as flawed, when in actuality we may be the most alive of them all?
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