While he is gone this week I hope he won't forget me and how it feels when we embrace, that trust continues to grow, that I am enough...not because he has to for the family, because he doesn't, but because he wants just me. He doesn't realize how much I doubt because he won't say it because he doesn't say those things, he thinks they are implied, but history tells a different story. Three years may be ages ago to him but yesterday to me. He doesn't get that 1-2 compliments on how I look/year isn't enough, that he's never said he thinks I'm beautiful or pretty, that I know he loves me but not why (says he knows and that's what matters)- I'm supposed to know by how he treats me daily, which is kind, gracious & like his best friend, always kissing me goodbye. He grew up in a home where you don't talk like that. He sweetly sends "songs of the day" often, but if he feels these things I want to hear it from him, not a song. Sometimes I wonder if in the end that will be enough. Until then I am left to analyze every embrace & hope.
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