For me it is never "goodnight" until I know they are home. Sometimes I doze off and then wake up, so a rule is either tap my door or text that you are home so that when I awaken I know you are there. Then I just hope there are never good nights for them...sneaking out because they know I will never know as long as they are quiet...and I can only hope they use their good sense and rules and what they have learned over the years about drugs, drinking, and driving with either. Losing one of them is my biggest fear in life, and because it happened to someone I know when I was 19 and she was 16, the fear is far too real and people have no idea...to this day I admire her parents as they have stayed together and gone through life after that horrible night, I remember so many parts of that week in such detail. Sometimes I feel bad that I am overprotective, especially considering how liberal I am, but I have never gotten over that night (I am talking I knew to the day what day my daughter would officially have outlived her life). I don't know why. Neither did my therapist lol. I still say, "good morning" and "goodnight" to the kids every day; I am not sure how that is going to work out with her gone in five months.
This has been on my refrigerator for YEARS (after I had saved it for years) and was required reading for kids when they got their license, though they joke that they have read it 1,000 times because it is by the toaster and they had to wait for toast and would read it...it encompasses my fears and hopes they think, and it is hard when you already see more discipline and willpower in certain ones of your kids than others. I know that when I say, "goodnight," they have no idea how deeply it affects me, and it has nothing to do with cordiality. Peace xo.
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