"Plans and Projects"- Day 21

It is a real treat for the 8 of us to be together; it happens once in a while for dinner or an afternoon.  It has happened for vacation once, as one child wasn't permitted to spend the night with us until he was 18 and could make his own choices.  That trip was super special for all and gave kids that are siblings and step siblings a chance to bond, and gave a father a chance to have all of his kids for a week.  Three other trips we have had 7 of us, once due to the "under 18" rule, once someone had other plans and once, well...leukemia. This year we had the all clear to go to FL for a week from the doctors at Johns Hopkins.  Plans included being within an hour of a good medical facility and referrals to doctors with all necessary information in hand should we need it.  However, we didn't plan to need it, things were looking up.  Four weeks ago our leukemia child ended up in the ER- and back in for an overnight for a transfusion.  A week later, same thing.  We had gotten an unofficial diagnosis about why, but then his marrow started producing it's own red cells again, slowly but surely.  This scare made our decision to stay semi local- DE beaches, so we are several hours from his hospital, if for some reason he can't come the whole time he can get there for part of the time, and he and dad are especially more relaxed about it.  Now, it can take hours to search for a place with 7 beds (they don't want to share, understandable), a pool table (need something to do for when he especially can't be outside), near the beach, and with a pool.  After much searching we (ok, I) found it...the other kids, while they would love to go to FL, are all being very gracious and say all they care is we all get to go somewhere together (though when I asked if that meant we could do Niagara Falls area I got 6 no, we want the beach...I tried).  It isn't easy to get kids that are 12-15-17-18-20 & 23 (that will be ages this summer) all in one place at one time, so this is exciting.  Hoping for no medical problems to hold him back, and that he and dad in particular can have a relaxing week and time together; I cannot make up for the time they've lost due to his mother's restrictions, but I can try to provide opportunities for memories and fun times.  Maybe he will even just get to be 20 for a week if he is feeling good.  

One good thing is they save us money by being happy to eat in (that way they don't have to come in and get all freshened up by any particular time), and I am  happy to cook.  Makes my Pinterest browsing time more credible ;).  Then, I make a One Note section for the trip, with a page for all information on the home/payments (I use VRBO all of the time and have had a lot of luck), one for meal plans for dinner (what will go with what- plan for 6 and pizza on the 7th), pre-thinking the quick and easy for day one when we get down a little later, one for recipes (copy and paste from Pinterest board), and one for grocery list and bring from home list (I may have issues, because I have admittedly made baggies of herbs/spices etc, labeled, and brought on planes to avoid buying whole containers of things I need 2t. of).  It works for us.  They all basically get to have a great week and I am ok with basically setting up breakfast and lunch and cooking, and I feel they are grateful.  They help when asked (we pondered since there are six of them putting them each in charge of a night of meal planning and prep, just tell us what to buy or we will give you the money to buy, but something between the potential control freak in me and the fear I will eat Kraft Mac & Cheese at least twice & steak & expensive food another two had us thinking maybe not).  

We try not to be overly excited at this point because so much can happen before we go (July), and we know leukemia may get in the way, but I choose to plan looking forward and not talk about it much to dad, who doesn't want to get too excited until we are there and it is happening, which is understandable.  Chemo is expected to go up soon and that always kicks his arse for a bit...but that is life with a child with leukemia.  It is a fine balance to plan for life with that and life with six shared kids...but I got the nicest e-mail from him thanking me for making the plans so he could go and to meet his needs, which is the type of thing that makes all the work worthwhile.

As co-parents we definitely have wondered, but not out loud besides once, because it can get upsetting, if the ALL was there during this trip, and if so, how bad?  The official first symptoms came four months later, and the diagnosis 6 months later.  Keep your fingers crossed for this summer :).