Day 16- "Words to Live By"- Month 2 (a day early)

This post is coming a day early (it can make up for one of my day late ones...), because tomorrow I will be on the road for college visits if we are able to stick with Plan A, and a visit to a very special aunt (&, this song could apply equally to that branch of extended family, who is so far away but so near and dear to my life every day, they are my reason for Facebook and even Pinterest keeps me in touch with what is special to them), and I am thinking later today is going to be busy thanks to ALL and all that comes with it.

This past summer we purchased tickets to go see John Mayer, with all of the kids plus two significant others- ten in all.  It was a total chance, as we weren't sure M would be healthy enough to go because of the leukemia.  John Mayer is his favorite, as he has a love of guitars.  It was meant to be something for him to look forward to, as theoretically if all went as planned he would be well enough to go.  Well, it worked out, by about a day, relief of post chemo nightmarish headaches, and he could go He was weak, and he was tired, but he allowed others to help him along, from getting there in time to rest and sit pre-show, to using the customer service golf cart to take him to his seat and back.  His father got to give him this gift, and though the original plan was us 8, dad selflessly bought two more tickets in the lawn so that M could bring his girlfriend, so we used the other to bring a boyfriend.  We took the lawn so the kids could be together.  M was asleep not long after he left the parking lot, but giving him the gift of that night was awesome.  Phillip Phillips was opening.  Two shows in one!  I have always liked this song but it literally brought me to tears as I listened a little more closely to the words and thought about M and the other kids, and us as parents.  It isn't easy being a blended family with kids in four counties and 2 states, and with an 11 year span, but it works, and there are some people who don't see it as valid because we aren't married, but I would challenge them to spend a few hours with them and tell me they still see it that way.  As luck would have it, M has been hospitalized again, on Friday night.  The new daily pill chemo hasn't been friendly- they raised levels on some- and has taken the once a month theory of life will settle down to a whole new level.  This week sucked for him, and a challenge is always is it the chemo, is it run of the mill illness, or do I need to be in the hospital because it is the cancer?  Well, this time it is the cancer.  I know there was a transfusion last night.  Not sure what is going on yet, but hoping for the best and know that he is in the best place possible.  I hate that at 20 he lives in this fear and that is father is notified by a group text after they are already at the hospital, but it is what it is.  The words of this song remind me of this family, our family, who all live in different places but who pull together and on the good days just enjoy one another, and they are the words we are living by as we take this wild ride together and stick by him when it is at it's worst, by the other kids as they are in fear, by all as they simultaneously have triumphs to share amid the chaos that ALL has brought into our lives.  

"Gone, Gone, Gone"- Phillip Phillips

When life leaves you high and dry
I'll be at your door tonight
If you need help, if you need help
I'll shut down the city lights, 
I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe
To make you well, to make you well

When enemies are at your door
I'll carry you away from war
If you need help, if you need help
Your hope dangling by a string
I'll share in your suffering
To make you well, to make you well

Give me reasons to believe
That you would do the same for me

And I would do it for you, for you
Baby, I'm not moving on
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
You would never sleep alone
I love you long after you're gone
And long after you're gone, gone, gone.

When you fall like a statue
I'm gon' be there to catch you
Put you on your feet, you on your feet
And if your well is empty
Not a thing will prevent me
Tell me what you need, what do you need

I surrender honestly
You've always done the same for me

So I would do it for you, for you.
Baby, I'm not moving on
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
You would never sleep alone.
I love you long after you're gone
And long after you're gone gone gone.

You're my back bone, 
You're my cornerstone
You're my crutch when my legs stop moving
You're my head start, 
You're my rugged heart
You're the pulse that I've always needed
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating
Like a drum my heart never stops beating

For you, for you
Baby I'm not moving on
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
You would never sleep alone
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
Baby I'm not moving on, 
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
You would never sleep alone.
I love you long, long after you're gone.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating
Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you

And long after you're gone, gone, gone.

I love you long after you're gone gone, gone.